THE RESPONSE.

I have been working on putting together some sort of opinion essay, or response rather, to the wrath that has unraveled on my facebook wall, but it has proven much more difficult than expected. Obviously the use of "wrath" is a bit melodramatic, but it really has gotten out of control. Beyond the 20+ comments over the past week or so, I've also started receiving messages of curiosity and requests for explanation over facebook. Who would have thought that such controversy could ensue over a brief statement, which for the record was not even a political stance, about not "being a fan" of something.

After several days of pondering and several different versions of my so-called rant, I am at a loss of what to say. If you have your mind made up about this topic, there is really nothing I can do to change that. Before I go on, please read the letter sent out by the 1st Presidency at http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/california-and-same-sex-marriage Perhaps we can clear up a few misconceptions right from the beginning.

In the issue of politics, it has never been my intention to swing anybody from one stance to the other. I love talking politics and I love getting worked up over it, but rarely- if ever- with the intent of persuasion. If someone has done their research and has some solid arguments, I have never attempted to discredit their opinions. Particularly if I can sense they have a particular passion over it. It is for this reason that I take particular offense to some of the statements that have been thrown around based on Proposition 8- my wall being one particular venue as of late.

I am a human rights activist. No matter whom it is or what they believe, I believe in equal rights for ALL, particularly where no harm to others is involved. Right now, gay people in America don't have those equal rights. You can criticize their lifestyles all you want, you can hold up the religion flag and claim it as a sin all you want, but the point is, they are PEOPLE , they are doing no harm to anyone else, and they deserve the same rights and opportunities as any other person in this country. This country was founded on a group of people seeking to escape religious persecution, yet here we are trying to change the very foundation that many worked so hard to defend.

I have nothing against gay marriage. If two men or two women want to get married, so be it. It does not affect me personally and it's not going to affect MY marriage personally. As for Proposition 8, luckily I don't live in California anymore and I will not have to make the vote myself. In my heart, I am against it (aka "not a fan") and I see it inherently wrong and faulty. Furthermore, the so-called "evidence" to back it up is a construed arrangement of lies and fallacies. Nobody will have to learn about gay marriage in school, the Church will NOT lose its non-profit status, and temple sealers will NOT lose their licenses. I recommend all members of the pro-8 side read this document before writing the comments that are sure to follow this entry.http://connellodonovan.com/thurston_response.pdf I do not mind a bit if you disagree or comment, but I will mind if you use rumors and lies to back your argument. Regardless of reasons or spiritual levels or what anyone tries to say is right and wrong, I cannot say I am for Prop 8 and still feel like I'm being true to myself. The church's involvement in this issue makes me extremely uncomfortable, and I wish more than anything that they would have stayed out of it.

Sometimes "the prophet said so" is not quite good enough evidence in political realms. It might be for you, and that is great. However, when you make arguments in any sort of public venue, a religious rant just isn't going to cut it. If your goal is to truly deny gay people from ever getting married, you're going to need to find a few more reasons to convince the rest of the country. Because religion aside, I have yet to find one.

According to the last reports I saw, members of the Church had already spent OVER 10 MILLION DOLLARS toward the Yes on Proposition 8 campaign. To me this number is alarming and sad. It appears that this sudden explosion of support is simply an excuse for people to push their own anti-gay sentiments and feel more validated in their opinion. Now people can't knock you and say you don't believe in equal rights for everyone, because you have the church to stand behind as an excuse. For clarification, if you truly are standing behind this point of view strictly because you are trying to be a God-fearing person who accepts the Prophet's counsel, I have nothing against you. I will never judge someone who is simply trying to "follow the Prophet." From my discussions and inquiries, this rarely seems to be the case. Also, keep in mind all the other things the Prophets have taught, such as showing charity and love for your fellow men. That one seems to get cast aside quite often in discussions I hear regarding the gay community.

There have been many cases in the past when the Prophet has asked people to donate their time and their means to helping on a variety of different causes. In every General Conference session we are taught about Fast Offerings and Missionary Funds and Humanitarian Funds and the Perpetual Education Fund. All of these are great charitable causes put to good use. So where does an additional 10 million suddenly come from? I feel like the "official Church stance" has just become a wall of defense for the anti-gay rights team to hide behind; a sudden excuse to pour millions of dollars and millions of hours into "taking a stand" against gay people.

I also find it interesting that these claims on the definition of marriage are coming from Mormons. Did we not have our own battles about different "definitions" of marriage, a mere 150 years ago? Sure polygamy was technically "between a man and a woman", but it was still seen as weird and twisted by most of the American population. I'm sure those of you with long lines of LDS history in your family trees have heard stories of oppression and hardship because the rest of the country didn't understand WHY it was that the Saints took on this lifestyle. Why is it alright to bash on another group's "alternate lifestyle"? Because polygamy was called by God and homosexuality wasn't? Laws in America should not be based on whose side was called by God and whose wasn't. Separation of church and state is there for a reason.

I have many gay friends and even gay family members. They are very dear to me, and are some of the BEST people I have ever met. Where charity and love for people is concerned, I would hold them up against the Mormons I know any day. They want to be happy, they want to be part of committed relationships, and they want to be guaranteed the same rights in those relationships that the rest of us already have opportunity for. It's not about "destroying the sanctity of marriage" (cuz let's be honest... at a 50%+ divorce rate, we've pretty much lost it already), but making sure that all people have the same types of rights to the ones they love. Without the right to marry, presently those rights simply do not exist. In my search for more information and others opinions while I've been trying to make sense of all this, I have received several emails from some of these good friends, and I decided to share a couple.

"Denying people who love each other the right to get married does not question the sanctity of marriage. It enforces the values of marriage. Commitment, love, and happiness, a right everyone should be able to enjoy which should be guaranteed to anyone no matter what your sexual orientation, or gender. Also as an American in this country, it is not fair to deny me my rights as a human to marry the person I love because of religious practice that is ingrained into this society. There really is no valid reason why I am being denied my freedom." – Aaron

"If I want to join into a union with someone I love, I want to have the same rights under the law that a straight couple has. It's about the RIGHTS not about what they call it, or the religious aspects. For the gay couple who have been together for 50 years only to not be allowed to visit each other in the hospital or who have to PROVE something to jump in the back of the ambulance with their loved one... THATS what it's about for me." –Josh

“I think that our country was formed to give our citizens freedom, and so I wouldn't vote for anything that diminishes that.” –Carol

“"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet" -Jeff

“As a person, gay or straight notwithstanding, I am expected to work or contribute in some way to society, pay bills, vote, etc so why shouldn't I be afforded the same rights along with the same responsibilities as everyone else? Proposition 8 just breaks my heart and frustrates the hell out of me because I don't see a lot of logic in it, just discrimination and hatred.” -Adam

Now, tell me how I am supposed to look into the eyes of these people who I care about and tell them that I would vote against their ability to share in the same rights as I will someday have the opportunity to enjoy? I look forward to spending my life with the one I love, and they only do the same.

To Prop 8 fanatics: It's so easy to talk big game about the sin of homosexuality and how the destruction of the world is surely near if they keep getting all these rights and how we should drop everything to devote all we have to making sure they never have the right to marry. Do you really know these people? Have you ever been faced with the decision of choosing your religion (since that's what everyone is telling you it comes down to) and telling your own family and friends that your religion, which you value so deeply, is commanding you to take a stand AGAINST them? Maybe your stance would still be for Proposition 8 from a purely religious standpoint, and I respect that. But perhaps you would approach it from a different angle. Perhaps support it in a bit of sorrow, rather than so much gloating.